Cody Updates by Mom

So, my first week of work is done.  Wooo Hooo!

I will be honest and say that I was a bit concerned on many levels with returning to work.  I did my best to not stress about the concerns but they were still there.

It is hard after being out so long to not wonder if your managers or team will be thinking…”Hey, we managed 7 weeks without this position and it went fine, do we really need it.”  I am sure some people will yell at me for thinking that but it is hard not to.  No one is irreplaceable and I knew that they wouldn’t be able to let me go with the cancer but it was kind of nibbling there in the back of my head.  I can say that I was happy to have a challenge the first day and by the end of the first week felt that I had at least contributed in my role.

Granted the first day was a lot of reconnecting with workmates and getting lots of hugs.  It was so nice to feel welcomed back with so much care and support.

I had the very real concern of whether I could manage my side effects at work.  Even though they are under control for the most part it is very easy to manage them at home.  I can deal with any stomach issue fast and if I felt tired just simply take a nap.  Even though I did get increasingly more fatigued as the day went on it wasn’t an issue.  Friday I had the most fatigue but was able to just hang at my desk for most of the day working.  I did have a few of the muscle spasm things in my toes but luckily they were short lived and I didn’t have to really adjust anything.  Since next week is my “good” week with side effects I should be able to get through the week with less fatigue and concerns.

My biggest concern was my brain.  One of the side effects of chemo is “chemo brain”.  They really only label it if you have it for a long period of time or permanently after you are done with chemo.  However, the fuzziness and concentration issues are very prevalent the week of chemo.  I wasn’t able read a book or really even focus on something that took brain power while I was out.  Seven weeks of limited brain exercising was a very big concern.  I had some moment the first couple days that were a little scary as I lost my train of thought and had to work pretty hard to get it back.  Monday evening was hard because my brain was tired and I could feel how much it just wanted to shut down for the night.

My job is mostly using my brain to fix issues, figure out how to work data into reports that others can read or simple figure out a request.  The reason I have been successful in recent years is that I have been able to really stretch my thinking outside of the box and keep up with my very “data minded” ops leaders.

Not that I wanted an issue to happen but one did and I was very happy to be able to work through it and help figure out the solution to the issue.  It was good to feel that I could still rely on my brain for my job.

We have a gig tonight at the South St. Paul VFW if anyone wants to come out.  All proceeds go to Make-a-wish and we are on from 8-10.  Tomorrow we move Alex out of the house to her new place in Eau Claire.  I am going to take a nap today and hopefully will be home early enough tomorrow to relax before getting back to work next week.  No rest for the wicked. 🙂

Even though things are going well I still have two more chemo sessions to get through, radiation, reconstruction surgery and then forced menopause for the remainder of the year and actually the next five years to come.  I am doing well but still have a long road ahead.  I am certainly not alone on this road and will using the prayers and support I have gotten as my strength.

Caring Bridge Comments

Lorna Williamson|Jun 3, 2014 7:25pm
I’m so glad you sound well and are back. So many of us have you in our thoughts and hearts. Lots of prayers for you!!!