Cody Updates by Mom

For me, throughout the chemo treatments everything was sections in three week increments.  Chemo Week 1 was always the week at home where I battled most of the heavy side effects.  Chemo Week 2 was when I was able to function and go back to work.  I still had side effects but was able to handle them for the most part.  Chemo Week 3 was the final week of side effects.  The side effects did not mess with my ability to function but were still there however was able to function pretty good.

Today puts me past my final week 3!  It is such a good feeling knowing that there are no longer any more chemo weeks.  My first chemo was April 28th my last chemo side effect day is July 20th.  I am done. 🙂

I wanted to share the side effects that I didn’t get.  I can now safely say that I should not be getting any of these.  Vomiting, bleeding in other organs, discoloration of the skin, mouth sores, significant fluid retention, significant weight loss or gain and yellowing of the eyes.  I am thankful that these were not on my list of side effects.

In honor of being done with chemo weeks I want to share my top 10 things I learned so far.  Believe me there are way more than 10 and  I am still learning every day.

Mel’s Top 10

10. Be ok with random hugs from bikers – actually from a lot of people however I found that at the bike rallies we played at the bikers were the most huggy.  I have had so many people that I have just met ask for a hug when they hear my story.  It is a simple gesture that is a way of saying you care.  I am amazed at the care that people really do have.  Someone asked if I was sick of all the hugs when I went back to work.  Absolutely not.  Hugs heal the soul and I needed the help when I decided to try to get back into work.  I am very thankful that my coworkers felt that they could.

9. Look at the physical scars right away and accept they are a part of you now. Then, when they are healed later, they look better and it is a positive instead of just seeing the negative side.  I am hopeful that someday I will simply see them as my battle scars and be proud to have them.

8. Get dressed even when you feel like crap.  I found that the days I didn’t get out of my jammies were harder days.  The act of forcing myself to get dressed for the day helped my mind be in a different state.  Also, give yourself more time in the morning.  Matching a scarf or cap to an outfit takes longer than you expect.  Give yourself more time to try different combinations.

7. You will learn to love pink.  It is actually an honor to be among the amazing other women in the “breast cancer survivor” group.  I will proudly wear pink in dedication to fact that I am still here and will be for a long time.

6. When wearing long scarves to work make sure to move them before sitting down in the bathroom.  Not sure I need any more explanation there.  Some VERY close calls.

5. Be honest about how you feel.  No one can read my mind so letting those around me know how I am doing is a gift to them and me.  It helps others know how they can help and it helped me to be able to be me.  Just a simple “I’m having a hard day” was enough.

4. This too shall pass.  Reminding myself that I had temporary side effects for a permanent solution was very helpful.  I was able to get through some of the really bad times by remembering why I was doing this.  It was hard but the chemo was going to help me live longer and that was very important to me.

3. Faking it long enough actually can help.  Forcing myself to put aside the side effects to go to work and out of the house helped.  By forcing myself to be okay I found it was easier.  Time went by faster than just sitting and thinking about what hurt or what didn’t work the same.

2. Don’t lose your sense of humor. Laughter can help you heal.  When I allowed myself the time to really laugh I could actually feel my soul healing.  It is good.  Just recently I laughed at the crazy pictures that I just got from the hair cutting party.  We laughed as tears rolled down.  It felt amazing.  Laughing at work because I had to use scotch tape to keep a scarf on one day was a great way to let go of my frustrations.

1. It’s okay to have a good cry (or 5) and let go of being superwoman.  I had many times that I would tell myself to buck-up, others had it worse but I found that if I let it out and let go, I felt better.  I didn’t have to be strong every minute of every day.  I could let others be strong for me.  I could be weak for moments to allow my strength to return.  Believe me, this has been the hardest lesson of all.  I saw a quote somewhere that really struck me.  “Strength isn’t just about how much you can handle before you break.  It is also about how much you must handle after you are already broken.”  It is okay to be broken as long as you can pick yourself back up and put the pieces back together to move on.

Again, thank you for reading.  It is very therapeutic for me to write.  It has helped me to cope and put things into perspective.  This journey would not have been quite the same without this journal and my connection to all of you in this way.  I love your comments and knowing that you are all out there. 🙂

Caring Bridge Comments

Lorelie|Jul 21, 2014 11:26am
Congratulations on your achievement! You’ve gone thru this difficult time with style and grace , and uour journal entries have been an inspiration. So glad you are done with this nasty stuff!