We all have our storms that we are challenged to overcome. We get battered, bruised, knocked around and sometimes may feel as if we are drowning. Each storm is different. The size, intensity and even the number of storms within the bigger storm is different not only for each person but for each moment in our lives when we are struggling. It doesn’t matter if your storm seems smaller than someone else’s. It is still your reality and therefore important to acknowledge.
As I have managed my own torrential downpours I have noticed all of the other storms of those I care about swirling around. I am amazed at how the storms seem to cluster around groups of people. I learned a bit about weather from my hubby and I have learned that the first storms of the year quite often to show the pattern of where the bad storms will hit that year. They have a tendency to follow the same paths and hit areas more than once. I find that a wee bit interesting that our personal trials seem to do the same. There have been so many people that I know that have been dealing with so much lately. The storms clearly have picked their path. Let’s hope that the season for this is almost over. I am ready for some calm winds and sun.
I have had quite a few people lately ask how I stay so positive throughout all that has been going on. Honestly, I don’t always. There are times that I get really mad and frustrated and express that quite loudly and with a fair number of extra colorful adjectives. I try to do this when I am not around others but it may slip out from time to time. Sometimes I lay in bed when everyone else is asleep and cry because I cannot see the end of the storm. I still wake up in the morning and put on my armor (or rain gear) and trudge back through the weather.
I am constantly reminding myself to let go of what I cannot control. This is extremely difficult however I have learned that if you do this repeatedly that it actually becomes easier over time. I still have my moments where those things that I cannot control really poke hard on my willpower to overcome. I have had many internal battles with them and have had to work hard to let go. Those uncontrollable “things” can take away my time, my ability to do certain items I want to but they do not have to take away my happiness. They do not have to take away me.
I am also working to let go of regrets. I cannot change the past. I cannot change my decisions. I cannot erase the mistakes I made. I cannot change the storms I have already weathered. However, all of those things changed me. They made me who I am today. They gave me the strength to keep going when I thought there was nothing left inside. Changing one thing may change the person that is still standing here after this hell of a year. Nope, I think I will keep the “me” I have become. Good, bad and otherwise.
Today, as I think about my father’s passing a mere 21 years ago, I think about the message I want to put out there. I don’t want to dwell on what I do not have. I want to focus on what he taught me. He taught me that no matter how crazy everyone is around you that you can sit quietly on the couch and just absorb the chaos. He taught me to not be scared of rollercoasters and how to spin a car on a spinning ride until your gut hurts from laughing. He taught me that genetics can bring down personality as I see him in my son daily even though they have never met. He taught me that ice cream can heal most broken hearts and create a smile. He taught me that hard work to give your family what it needs is a requirement not a choice.
Years from now I plan to look back at this storm and know that it has changed me and made me a stronger and better me.
This song has always spoken to me during my storms. It means so many different things to different people. To me it has always meant if I could just see my true self, everything would be alright. I found a version with the lyrics if you want to listen.
Kara Rogers|May 19, 2015 10:19am
Love and prayers..from mom|May 19, 2015 9:52am
Cody Updates by Mom 
Leave a comment