Cody Updates by Mom

It’s been a little while since writing.  So, hello there!  It is something that at times I miss however life doesn’t ever seem to slow down too much to write.  I hope you enjoy this picture from the Superior National Forest/Cloquet State Forest that I took this last weekend.

I have set up the appointments for my final reconstruction surgery.  Two weeks from tomorrow Dr. Mann will be performing the final pieces of my reconstruction.  The good news is that the adjustments that he made to my right side have held up well and he feels that we are good to go on the nipple reconstruction.  After this surgery I will be as complete of a woman as I will be able to be.  This surgery is a little more disconcerting due to the fact that they will be doing a significant amount of cutting to my skin to construct the right shapes.  They will also be removing skin from another area of my body to graft into the section where they are cutting to build up.  All of my other surgeries have had general restrictions on lifting and no major exercising.  This surgery is more delicate so all exercise is out of the question.  Dr. Mann said that this one will be more painful so I will want to be very careful.  I honestly do not like it when they tell me that it is going to hurt.  They are typically right.

19 months ago I started this journey with my reconstruction.  Due to the cancer everything was extended from a time standpoint.  It feels weird to be at the end.  I know that there will be fixes or adjustments in my future but from a overall reconstruction as a result of the cancer I will be fully done as of the 18th of November.

I am still working very hard to get my nutrition levels right.  I am slightly anemic and have been seeing an endocrinologist to help me adjust my vitamin/Iron intake and such to get my levels correct.  My last blood work that was taken for the pre-op physical showed that I am still not getting my iron levels to where they need to be.  We will be testing again in December and hoping that things start to move in the right direction with my blood work.  I know there are infusions for iron but I am hoping that I do not have to find out what that is like.  Eating is going well and I am over four months out from the last dilation.  My infection has not come back and I am pretty much able to eat whatever.  Significant amounts of sugar and raw veggies seem to be the things I have to stay away from.  Cookies (like sandwich cookies – Oreo’s, Grandma’s, etc.) are my happy food.  Coffee with cream is my other favorite.  I even found a Keurig on clearance that I put in my office so I can have my favorite flavor.  Yay!  Weekends are harder than the weekdays to keep my eating schedule on track.  I really have to be on top of it over the weekends.  Due to my nutrition I have to stagger my vitamins and what food I am eating and it makes it kind of a pain to keep track of.  I am getting there but it is a slower process than I like.

I am still surrounded by those that are in the midst of their storms.  Some are in the eye of their storm where the losses and grief they are feeling make it hard to even breathe.  I have recently read a blog that was challenging the notion of “everything happens for a reason” and there is one piece of it that struck me.  This person recommends that when others are grieving that you do not be there “for” them.  There really may not be anything for you to do.  Just be there “with” them.  I really liked this.

Today, I also had a fairly significant thing happen for me.  Back on May 14th, 2014, I wrote a journal entry about learnings.  Within that journal entry I talked about an experience that brought me down.  I had ventured out to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  This was one of the first few times that I had gone out on my own.  I was in the checkout line when the cashier was complimenting the woman behind me on her hair.  This was hard.  I didn’t have hair at the time, chemo was still being put into my body and I was fragile.  I eventually picked up my self pity and stuck it back where it belonged.  Today I was at the same grocery store, alone and checking out at the register.  The cashier handed me my receipt and said “by the way, I really like your hair.”

I know that some of you are thinking, hey, I have told you that I like your hair.  Yes, I know but this was an internal journey for me that has now come full circle.  I can let that first experience go and move on.  It is funny how those very seemingly little things can really impact your day, month or year.

While we are on the subject of hair I wanted to explain something about the length.  I have had a lot of people ask me why I am growing out my hair.  Apparently, I look okay with short hair.  As much as I am so very thankful to all of you for your kind words and thoughts, I just simply cannot leave my hair short.  The reason for this is that having my hair short right now reminds me of the chemo and the bad days.  When I look at myself in the mirror the scars are all too real and I have to accept them to be able to move on.  I, however, do not have to accept short hair.  Maybe someday I will think differently and go back to the short hair look.  If I do that, I would like that to be on my terms without the help of chemo and because of cancer.  I have lost so much control over certain aspects of my appearance due to these life changing events.  This is one piece that I am determined to get back.

To any and all of you that are struggling, I hope and pray that you find peace in some form in the midst of your storm.  May you be carried by those with you.