Hello! Hope you are all finding time to have peace through this very busy time. Sometimes it seems that it is an elusive place just beyond our reach. My Christmas wish is that all of you find even a smidge of a moment that peace visits you. Often during this time of year it becomes that time that we remember what we have lost. The people that are no longer by our sides or the pets that no longer bounce around the house. It is a time that being limited on funds or feeling alone in the world is exaggerated by the visions of happy families and presents galore in the media. It is a time where the loss of a job, a stomach, a friend or even the loss of control over life can bring you down.
My sister posted a picture today that read “So far you’ve survived 100% of your worst days. You’re doing great.” This has actually struck me today. It is so true and I think that quite often I discount what I have survived up to this point. When you really think about it, it is sometimes amazing that we have made it this far. We have. We survived. We pushed through pain, grief, disappointment, anger, whatever it is we are suffering. We have made it though.
So, I have a couple updates.
On the breast cancer front. I am healing pretty well and starting to look like a normal person. As I started my process with breast cancer, I was bound and determined that I would not let anything impact how I felt about myself. I failed. Not because of lack of effort but because I am simply human. How I look (even if it is just for me to see) impacts my brain. As my scars start to fade, it helps me heal internally. The hair thing, well, its long enough to put in a barrette. I am happy for this little step. It is a slow process but I am getting there. Each day I feel more like me. I have a follow up with Dr. Mann (plastic surgery) in late January which I am hoping will be a start to less frequent visits. I will have another follow up with Dr. McCormack (oncologist) in the spring and if all is well we will move to yearly check ups for the next eight years or so.
Now that my body is mostly healed from my surgeries it is time for me to figure out how to gain some muscle back. I have lost a significant amount of strength in my arms, hands and legs. I feel the lack of muscle and the pain of my body just not having the strength to do the same things I would normally do on a daily basis. Time to start working on a plan. No cardio but I can figure out some strength improvement.
Let’s move on to the stomach front. I still have not had to go in for another dilation (YAY!). I am at six months with not having eating problems. I continue to work my schedule fit all the different meds and the restrictions on eating and drinking with the meds. It is going to take some time. I am also continuing the learning process for the best schedule and items around eating. Figuring out snacks that are easy, quick but have protein, iron, good calories and small amounts of sugar seem to be the kicker. Jim keeps reminding me that they said it would take two years for me to get the hang of this and I am not even at a year. Patience has not be in abundance.
I saw Dr. Karban today. She is the newest of my docs and is an Endocrinologist. She is here in St. Paul as we were able to get my care for this moved from Mayo to her. She is helping me to make sure that I am getting the right level of vitamins in my system. I had blood taken a couple weeks ago and for the most part it all looks good. I have been taking Iron 2x a day and it has shown in my levels. She is very happy with those numbers. My B12 numbers seem to still be very much on the low side. I have been giving myself shots every other week and I seem to be good for the first week but then my numbers drop dramatically the next week. We are moving to weekly shots. I am hopeful that this change will also help me with my energy levels. I am good during the day but have pretty drastic low times where I move to sleepwalking in a heartbeat. I really like this doctor. She is very detailed however remains very on point with our conversations. I will go back in about 5 weeks for more blood work. If things look good, I will continue to get blood work done every three months. I will see her in June to discuss how long we will continue to monitor at this frequency. I get the feeling that this will be a long term relationship with this type of care. I am okay with it though, because I am already feeling better since we have my vitamin levels starting to get to acceptable levels.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a blessed new year. Let’s plan that 2016 is a year of healing, health, love, gratitude, friends, family and meaningful peace. May we all continue our perfect batting average of surviving our worst days.
I leave you with some photos I took when we were finding our peace.
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- Linda Follmer|Dec 16, 2015 12:34pm
- Julie Halloff|Dec 15, 2015 10:37pm
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