Cody Updates by Mom

Today is Christmas.   I know that sometimes Christmas can be a very sad time of the year.  It is a time where we think of the loved ones that are no longer here, the days that have gone by to fast or the things that we haven’t yet been able to do.  Many times the holidays bring to the surface the raw emotions that we try to keep under wraps all year.  Sometimes it is a time of deep sorrow.  No matter where you fall in the spectrum of emotions this Christmas, I hope that you can find a moment of peace.  It may only be a few minutes but I hope you can just close your eyes and find that center, that core place where you can just be you.

This Christmas has had many ups and downs.  This year seems to have more than normal.  The downs somehow seem to outweigh the ups.  My brother finding out he is losing his job, my sister having surgery so far away from home, her husband being laid off, friends losing loved ones, having major medical issues and many other changes that bring us down.  There is the constant reminder of a life with Alzheimer’s that can bring a person to their knees.  It seems that the easy thing is to see those bad things and stay in the negative.  It does take work to see the good in a world that seems so unbalanced.

So, why am I writing?  Change.  Change is why I write today.  Over the last week and a half I have had a bit of change come my way.  Ten days ago I was offered a new job at work.  Now you may think that this is a great thing.  It actually is.  However, it was a very hard decision.  You see, I was hired over 16 years ago into the Operations department at ADQ and have worked within this department for all of those 16 years.  I have had so many life experiences with this group of people that I truly think of them as my family.  They have been there, wearing pink to support me, praying and laughing with me as I have gone through this journey.  There have been others but this group of people have been my rocks at work.  My new job is not in Ops, it is in IT.  Now, I have been the “red headed step child” of IT for years.  It has been my second home.  It was still a hard decision.  I cannot express how much I struggled with this.  No matter what decision I made with this offer, it would impact other people.  Ugh.  There was the fear of the unknown.  How do I do a job that is new to the company and be successful?  Can I do all the things that these other people think I can do?  Then there is the people aspect of the change.  My team has been an amazing part of my life, they have helped me through the toughest times of my life and been such a great part of my work life.  How do I let someone else lead them?  How do I go to lead others?  How do I make sure they are taken care of?  These questions (even after my decision was made) have really haunted me.

Then there are the other parts that seem to continually go through my thoughts.  How do I be excited about this new opportunity when my brother is losing his job and my brother-in-law has already lost his job?  There is a conflict in me that I seem to be unable to manage.  On one hand, I want to run around and tell everyone of the new opportunity I have.  On the other, I want to just keep it to myself so it is not impacting anyone else.

Change.  The only constant in life and the most difficult part of life to handle.  I read all the time and recently there was a part in a book about change that struck me.  “You were born unable to speak a language.  Without people changing you from that natural, unaltered state, you would, to this day, not understand the spoken word, or be able to communicate.”  Huh.  Maybe we were born to be able to adapt to change better than we think.  It just doesn’t feel safe or easy.

So life is changing.  It is time to learn and be more than I think I can.  I can do this.  I beat cancer and don’t have a stomach.  What can’t I handle, right??

Since I am writing I thought I would give a quick update.  All is well.  Really!  My fatigue that I was having has been able to be managed with my new meds.  I guess that I was right.  A high protein diet causes a reduction in the serotonin going to the brain.  Taking a med to help the serotonin get to the brain helps Melanie feel less fatigued.  I am really happy that I didn’t get to the “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” state!

I am completely off of all iron supplements but Dr. McCormack is watching it closely.  He is one of the most amazing doctors that I have had the pleasure to work with.  I have been blessed in this area.  I have some issues with leg cramps but am able to get through them with another med that I can take at bedtime if it seems like I will be having a bad “leg cramp” night.  Eating is going well and according to all my blood work, I am healthy.  Yay!  So, my update is that I really do not have an update.  Next month I will celebrate my 2 years without a stomach.  Who knew?

My holiday wish for you – May peace come to you when you need.  May the losses you suffer not handicap you into missing the things that are amazing.  May you see that even if there are holes in your world that you can still find happiness in the places where you find solid ground.  May you know that I care for you and send you thoughts of strength and perseverance!