Cody Updates by Mom

To start with, I would like to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy whatever-holiday-you-celebrate day!  I truly do wish blessings on you all.

This is the time of year that we are expected to be happy.  So, how do we do this?  Honestly, I really don’t know.  The “holiday” time is the time where a significant amount of people struggle.  We struggle for so many reasons that I cannot list all of them here.  So, I will fall back on what is known, my own struggles.

Just today, Jim said to me, “When it rains, it pours and right now there are storms raging all around!”  Yep, the peripheral things that are going on sometimes take their toll and drag us down.  But that is not what I wanted to discuss.  There is a whole other side that has been impacting me and waiting to be written.

First of all, sugar!  Let’s talk about sugar.  In my world it could be considered as the spawn of the devil (or other words that I don’t want to repeat).  I don’t know if I would go that far but it is not a something that I should have much of.  I love to bake but it is hard when you really cannot eat it.  This season I have had three distinct times where I have ventured too far off of the road and ended up with too much sugar in my system.  Not pleasant and not something that I want to repeat.  However, I made an amazing cheesecake with fresh berry sauce for Thanksgiving.  I mean, really, why can’t I have these things?  Well, it is because your body will decide that it needs to flush out the sugar.  Sadness.  It did really taste good.  Almost worth it but not quite.  We are in the time of year that sweets are everywhere.  I want them, I shouldn’t, I do it anyway, I regret it, I avoid it the next day but forget the following day and repeat.  Ugh!  Next week I have entered into the work bake sale.  God help me!

I have been searching for low sugar, high fat desserts.  I even put a note on the food network page to see if they had ideas.  Unfortunately the first response was “chef’s don’t know this, see a dietitian”  Really??  I was looking for a recipe not a life eating plan.  Ugh.  I did get ideas and made two desserts.  One was okay (orange cheese cake thingy) and one was really not okay (we threw that one out).  I think I am going to work on a low-sugar, high fat dessert cookbook.  I mean, really, everyone else has a freaking cookbook the no-stomach-ers should have one too!

Secondly, there is the issue of just general “busyness”.  Life is busy, days get busy, hours fly by and eating/hydrating doesn’t happen.  Yep, it is an interesting time to manage the busy season.  I thought Thanksgiving was going to be a breeze.  I would just nibble as I cooked all day and my intake of food would be good.  Nope.  That didn’t happen.  Nibbling was sparse as I worked on the meal and in the end, I only had lunch.  Hours flew by and the day was done and not much food made it in.  I know that this is something that I have to fix on my own but I was not expecting how the distraction of the day would impact my eating.  I was surrounded by food that in the end, I didn’t eat.  I will need to work on this going forward.  Hydration is even worse.  Want a drink?  It should be water but that beer is so cold and looks more interesting.  Need a morning drink?  It should be water but the coffee has so much lovely caffeine that it is always the choice.  Water should be caffeinated.  Period.

How am I?  Well, I am doing ok, I guess.  I am at my lowest weight that I have been at since surgery.  I not only seem to not be able to gain weight but I continue to slowly creep down.  If someone could just make me my favorite (grilled cheese with American, cream cheese and avocado) every day, I would gladly work to gain the weight back.  I feel that I  seem to lose weight even when I really try.  I do really miss the days that I could eat as I want.  I continue to search for snacks that do not have to be refrigerated that I want to eat during the day.  Please note the “that I want to eat”.  There are a lot of things out there that I am either tired of eating or just simply don’t like.  I seem to get a little picky about what I eat now.  I somehow need to make enough money to have a chef that can make me food all day long.  Problem solved.

My tiredness that I was struggling with came back over the last few months so my oncologist upped my Effexor to the next level.  It is helping the tiredness but I am in the adjustment period and it is messing with my mood.  I am pretty irritable and generally want to be left alone.  This is hard in my job or life.

My leg cramps are at their normal level and I end up having to take something about once a week to sleep.  Not horrible but still kind of an annoyance.

I am also dealing with some chronic pain.  I do not have final results of the tests back but I have a few.  I have had a bone scan and X-rays done due to joint pain.  They have determined with X-rays that I have degenerative osteoarthritis in my hands and feet.  Apparently the genetic fairy has been sharing again.  Great!  I also have arthritis that was seeable in the bone scan in my right shoulder, knees and spine.  I guess that is what is causing my daily/nightly pain.  Unfortunately, I cannot get in to see a rheumatologist until February, so, I wait.  They took at least a gallon of blood so hopefully they will have an answer to something.  I know that it will likely be “all is good and you are healthy” answer but anything is better than waiting.  The good thing is that the blood tests that I have seen on the various vitamin issues are all good.

In the end, I am kind of cranky and my sarcastic filter seems to be broken again.  (It may never have worked in the first place.)  Focusing on the day to day seems to help.  Jim has been a wonderful support system and puts up with my mood adjustments quite well.  The kids are a great distraction from the norm.  I would never be able to get through this without my support system.  You all are amazing!

This holiday season, I wish you peace.  I wish you the comfort of knowing that someone out here thinks you are an awesome person.  You are worthy and a needed COG to a life that we all work to live.  After all of what you have read, I can say my life is perfect.  It is the perfect life that I could ask for.  It is me in all senses of the word and today, I can say I have made it through all of my worst days ever.  Tomorrow will be good.

Peace and love to you all!