Cody Updates by Mom

I have sat here for quite awhile trying to figure out how to start this story.  I really honestly do not know how.  I am sad.  I am angry.  I am numb.  I have decided to start with something I wrote on April 6, 2017.  It feels like yesterday but yet like it was a million years ago.

Staring out at a world, confused and alone
Misplaced that safe feeling of being at home
Trying hard to remember what I’m supposed to do now
Don’t let me forget to know

As the body moves closer to the end of its life
The mind wanders back through the thoughts of the child
Searching for home in those past memories
Don’t let me forget to see

Staring into the mirror at eyes I don’t know
Seeing strangers in the faces of the people I love
Confused that I can’t remember their names
Don’t let me forget to feel

Like a baby, I’m helpless, need care everyday
Disease entered the mind and was here to stay
The body forgetting the simplest things it can do
Don’t let me forget to breathe

Stopped searching for home in the halls of my mind
Lost track of the days, lost mountains of time
Lost the thoughts that help me be me
Don’t let me forget to be

Today we learned what was likely the worst fear that we could have had.  My mom, Joanne, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.  Barely a year and a half after I wrote the above, I read it again and know what is in front of us.  What my mother is afraid to face but will not face it along.  I know the stages all too well and the resulting impact on my mom and my family.

Specifics: Dementia is a broad range of diseases impacting the brain.  Alzheimer’s is a type of dementia.  It is the most prolific kind of dementia and the most known.  There is no cure, there is no treatment.

Specifics on my mom: The neurological exam performed by the neurologist let us know that there was a very high likelihood that it was Alzheimer’s but he wanted to do blood work and an MRI.  The blood work was fine but the MRI showed that there was already shrinking of the brain in the places that indicate Alzheimer’s.  The meds can help with clarity but it does not slow the progression of the disease and it doesn’t cure it.  Like pain meds it will help with the symptoms while the disease does the dirty work. I apologize for the language but FUCK Alzheimer’s!  You took my mother in law from her family and now you want my mom. Cancer, I could fight. No stomach, I can deal with. This? This is not ok. I don’t know how to fight something that has already won.

In 10 days we will celebrate my mom’s birthday.  There is going to be a fantastic party at the Finishline in Princeton, MN to celebrate the woman that gave me and my siblings life.  I urge any of you to come, celebrate with us.  Help us remind her that she is loved beyond belief.  She may not remember who you are but please know that we would be grateful for your presence.  This strong, independent woman is loved by so many.  Her family moved beyond blood to include all those that needed help.  I will have the camera there to ensure that we can get photos of you all with my mom, Joanne.

My mom has given me permission to keep you all updated with how she is doing.  My family thanks you so much for being a part of our lives.  You mean so much to all of us.

Below are two pictures that I took while up north.  May we always remember the little things.