Cody Updates by Mom

I have thought about today and the coming days a lot over the last months.  I have thought about how we got here, to this place.  The last year and a half have been a whirlwind.  For my sake, I needed to look again at the progression, the dates when things changed.  Bear with me a bit.

• August 16th, 2018 – Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s
• April 22nd, 2019 – Started the process to bring in social services to help my sister with mom
• August 12th, 2019 – Decision that mom needs 24/7 memory care
• August 14th, 2019 – Brought mom to ER on Dr. recommendation to start the placement process
• August 15th, 2019 – Mom moved to Litchfield geriatric behavioral unit for med adjustment
• September 25th, 2019 – Mom moved to White Pine memory care center
• November 12th, 2019 – Mom passes

15 months.  On days it felt like years, on others it feels that it was just yesterday that she knew me. So, mom is now in heaven with dad.  What’s left to say?  Well, so very much.

 

 

My eulogy to my mom:

Mom, Joanne, Jo, Gma.  You can call her what you like.  She didn’t care.  If you were a part of her life, you were family.  There were times where that it was hard to have her love spread out to so many others.  Over time though, I saw that she simply had so much love to give that she couldn’t help but love everyone.  If only I could love like her.

As I got older and made a ton of mistakes, I realized my mother was not perfect.  She actually made mistakes.  However, she taught me very valuable lessons.  1. No one is perfect.  2. It is ok to make mistakes.  3. Love: is forgiving those mistakes with a heart wrapped in faith.  She always saw the good in people.  A trait that has been lost in most.  If only I could forgive like her.

She had a love of life that was exuberant.  She loved loons, northern lights, thunderstorms, animals, water fights, ice cream, splitting wood, music, and on and on.  The smile that she would get was so amazing and real.  She lived.  She loved.  She believed.  If only I could see life as she did.

My mother refused to be boxed in by stereotypes.  Actually, she basically ignored them.  Us girls didn’t grow up with dresses and pretty pig tails.  We grew up in jeans and dirt.  We played with the boys with matchbox cars.  We played baseball and mom could always hit it out of the park.  She wasn’t a typical mom, grandma or person.  She fearlessly was herself.  If only I could I be me without the fear of rejection.

Beauty beyond belief.  Not only was my mom a beautiful woman she had a beautiful soul.  Jesus was the winner in gaining her as a wonderful angel.  She never thought of herself as beautiful but we all know that she was.  If only my inner beauty could compare.

Yesterday, my mom died.  She was not a famous person.  She was not a celebrity or anyone that has a following.  She was amazing.  She was faithful.  She was real.  She was so bright that her glow could outshine the brightest of stars.  There will be no national sadness, no day of prayer and no flags at half staff.  She was loved.  She was my mom.  She was more real than what we tend to idolize online.  She should have a day that is dedicated to her ability to love, forgive, make smile and impact.  I wish I could make everyone in the world to know the amazing woman we just lost and have them see that there are so many people that make a difference that should be celebrated.  If only I could share her to the world.

Joanne Lucille Engnell:  Wife, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, sister, aunt, great aunt, friend, daughter, learner, musician, writer, singer, faithful servant, believer, mom, mom, mom.  She’s my mom and I miss her greatly.  If only I could be the caliber of person she was.

She is a reward that heaven has gained.