Cody Updates by Mom

I have had more times in my life that I care to remember where I have had “the long drive”.  This is the drive where something, some change, some worry, some illness, some sadness, has changed the paths of thought, memory and emotion.  The drive itself is no longer than when it has happened before but the minutes tick like watching the grains of sand drip through the hourglass.

I remember (and wrote about) the drive to my first appointment after learning that I had cancer.  I remember the drive to my first chemo and the drive to meet the nurses after my mother died.  There are so many more.  Every time, the brain keeps seeing the possible images, scenarios, outcomes and changes that may be.

I am amazed at the amount of possible scenarios that can happen on a simple hour long drive.  I have felt so many emotions, worries and fear of the future things.  The imagination is a horrible thing that can warp a simple situation to a worrisome eternal drive.

About 48 hours ago this happened.  It was long.  It was horrible.  It was likely the worst hour and a half that I have ever had.  Worse than my cancer and chemo, worse than my mothers death and even worse than when I knew that my sons father had died.

What’s worse?  When it involves your child.  I know a few people in my life that have had this even worse than I have.  The road never ended and the eternal sadness stayed.  I cannot imagine what you have felt.  You have my love and prayers.

So, what happened?

Sunday evening Cody called.  He was worried.  He had lost feeling in his right hand and the right side of his mouth was numb.  I talked to him for a while to try to figure out what was going on.  I did the stroke protocol and he said he could smile.  However, he started to have trouble talking and started to slur his words.  I then asked for Jim to talk to him to have him ask more questions to see if he could determine the gravity of the situation.  I had already moved to worried mother.  I paced as I listened and it was clear that Jim was having issues getting Cody to talk.  When Cody could not speak his address Jim had Cody call 911.

We were out the door.  Leaving lights, food and whatever out/on in the house.

We drove the eternal drive.

My imagination had so many different outcomes and they were all freaking me out.  Luckily, Jim recommended I call 911 to find out if they got the call from Cody.  After four transfers to different counties I finally got to the right one.  They had already dispatched both first responders and an ambulance.  The first responders were on scene and would be in Cody’s apartment soon.  He was on the phone still with 911 until someone was in the apartment with him.  I was relieved that he was talking with someone through all of this.  My initial fear was relieved, he was not alone.

I then got a text from Cody that he was being brought to the hospital.

This all lasted so very short amount of time that we still had 45 minutes to get there.  We drove in silence.  Tears streamed from my eyes, my hands shook and my brain walked through every terrible situation possible.  I gripped my fingers until sore and stared as the lights and lines passed.

What happened over the next 24 hours was long, tiring, emotional and exhausting.  I will not go into the details but it was not a comforting time.

Two more eternal drives, tests and lots of medical staff happened.

Monday, on our way to the hospital the 911 operator that had talked with Cody and later with me called the night before called us.  The situation had impacted her so much that she wanted to make sure that talked to us.  Talking to Cody had weighed so heavily on her and she was hoping to hear that he was ok.  Wow.  I was humble but relieved to hear Jim tell her that Cody was better.

In the end, we don’t know what happened.  There are two scenarios that the docs landed on.

1. Cody had a small stroke but the blockage had dissolved before they did the MRI and it didn’t show on the film.  Possible but unsure that this is the answer until it happens again and doesn’t dissolve.
2. Cody had what is called a retinal migraine ( very unusual in someone so young that has never had one before) and that is what caused the reaction.

The doctors were all very serious about the situation.  Every blood test and imaging was done.  Nothing.

One new thing (not related) was that Cody has a pretty serious thyroid issue.  It isn’t working right so his brain is making too many hormones because it thinks the thyroid is not functional.  This is good as there is something positive that will come out of this.  I am using this situation as a silver lining.

So why share?  Well, I know that many of you have had these situations.  Please know that I understand and know the pain that comes with it.

I also know that I would not have been able to do any of this without Jim.  He drove, he sat with me, he let me cry when Cody was not watching and he was there.

I know that some of you will ask why I didn’t call or tell you what was going on.  If you know me, you will know that I do better when I just “do”.  It is me.  I need to handle life as it comes and then share after.

I certainly hope that my beginning of 2020 is not a pattern.  I have been to one funeral and had one major event in the first 6 days.  Let’s hope that this is just a blip and 2020 is a positive year!