Cody Updates by Mom

What is a year?  365 days, 525,960 minutes, 31,557,600 seconds.  Sometimes a blink of an eye or a lifetime.

A year ago my life permanently changed, again. I did a little math today.  Over the year I had 19 trips to Mayo for various reasons.  At 68 miles per one-way trip it comes out to be 2584 miles of driving. I have had ten dilations that brought my opening from 3mm to 15mm.  In the middle of all of this I had my final surgeries for my reconstruction.  Not major but still a surgery.

There have been so many ups and downs that I honestly cannot remember them all.  What I do remember is the amount of support, prayers and love that I received from all of you.  I never walked alone.  I could not have made it through the year without the support I received.  You are all fabulous!

This last week I have been thinking a lot about what I have learned and how I have changed.  The physical changes are obvious.  I have lost about 50 pounds total.  Way over the 15% that was the original limit.  Oops.  I have a larger credit card bill due to purchasing new clothes.  Oops. Shhh, don’t tell Jim. 🙂  I have also finished all of my breast reconstruction surgeries so I am now complete.  What a good feeling to be finally done with all of the “going under the knife”.  I have scars galore and each one tells it’s own story.

I have learned how to eat for my new life.  I really don’t have many issues with dumping syndrome and have found ways to satisfy my cravings.  Yep, the cravings didn’t stop.  I have found foods that I love that I never really thought about.  Did you know that you can get blueberry and strawberry flavored almonds?  Well, they are just like candy but they have only 6 grams of sugar per serving.  Unfortunately, unless you are headed up north and stop in a random gas station, you have to order your fruit flavored almonds online.  So, guess what I did?  Yay!  I am, however, able to eat normal enough that if people do not know that I don’t have a stomach they would not even guess there is something wrong.  That is a win!  I had salad last week!  Yay!  Well, if you can count about 8 pieces of spinach with dressing, cheese and about a dozen croutons, salad, then I had salad.  It cannot really be something I eat on it’s own but I know that with my overall dinner I will be able to have a small part of a salad.  Win!

I use my calendar to manage my vitamins.  I am up to taking my B12 shots every week, calcium with vitamin C twice a day, Iron with vitamin D twice a day and my Flintstone’s twice a day.  None of them at the same time, of course.  I also take a pro-biotic to stop the infection that I was having trouble with in my esophagus from coming back.  Right now, my endocrinologist is checking my calcium levels to ensure that I am getting enough.  Due to the meds for the breast cancer and the hysterectomy they want to stay on top of my bone health.  My bone density is still good and she wants to keep it that way.  She is a new doc and even though I had to do a little education on my situation she is great and I really like her.  Nutrition is the main focus now.

I have learned about the “after” life.  Let me explain.  When you are going through something major you have support, you have people giving you love, you have that constant conversation about how you are.  Then you are done.  What a relief.  You are happy.  It is what you are wanting all along.  Then, normal life returns.  At first, it is heaven.  You are normal.  No one is really asking about things.  Life is getting back to the daily grind.  Life is good.  But life still happens.  There is a weird hole that you have to learn to figure out when all the things just get back to normal.  It’s not a problem, its just life.  People expect you to be normal.  What happened before is just a memory.  I can tell you that I am thrilled to have gone through this.  Having to learn to love your life for what it is now.  My daily trials are mine.  My storms still happen, they are just less traumatic than cancer and having your stomach removed.  It is a weird feeling.  Not bad, just odd.

A friend of mine posted the following:  “I’m a beautiful person inside and out & nothing Is gonna change that. Love me or hate me – I’m still gonna SHINE”  This statement is so very beautiful in its meaning.  This struck me.  One thing that I have learned is that, no matter what, being okay with me is most of the battle.  I have to love myself even though I have scars.  I have to be okay with the sounds my intestines randomly make.  I have to be okay with me.  Even though I still see all of the flaws in the mirror, I have come to accept them as me.

I have learned that life goes on.  Things can still be good after the storm has passed.  I have learned that strength really shines when you think there is nothing left.  I only have to see my oncologist and plastic surgeon on a yearly basis now so I may actually not reach my deductible this year.  That’s new!  The most important thing I have learned in all of this.  It is okay to ask for help.  I cannot be strong 100% of the time.

Thank you again for all of the prayers and great support that I received over the last year plus.  You are all so very special to me.

Caring Bridge Comments

Lorelie|Jan 29, 2016 11:01am
You’re an amazing person. Through all of this, you continue to stay so positive. Love you!