Cody Updates by Mom

The last 24 hours have been hard, long and very emotionally draining.  A decision had to be made and the result is a significant change.

You may have read about the weekend we had with mom.  On Monday and Tuesday morning, things did not get better.  She was still trying to leave and still being aggressive to the kids/adults in the house.  We were in contact with her Dr. all of the day and her doc recommended that we bring her to the ER as a vulnerable adult that is trying to leave and is aggressive.

We did this.

I cannot express in any words to you how hard it was to make this decision.  We knew that going down this path was going to be a forever change in our lives.  We knew that our mom was going to have to go through many changes and these changes would be very hard on her.  We knew that she would be mad at the two of us that facilitated this decision.

All of this is true.  All of this happened.

I had the hardest day of my life so far with this situation.  My mother was becoming more and more agitated with my sister that we were not going home.  Since I was there my sister was able to take a break and leave.  All of the aggression and negative feelings have been directed at her for the last “pick a number” of months.  It was time for me to step in.  I didn’t expect my feelings with this change.

I spent a good hour and a half with my mother in the ER in a locked room.  She was not happy and did not understand why we were there. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that it was because we could no longer keep her safe and no longer care for her.  So I sat, and let her be her.  I was scared.  I could see that the departure of me and my sister was going to be hard.  I could see that it was going to be difficult.

After she had found the unlocked door to the nurses station, I knew that things were getting out of control.  She would no longer listen to me and was focused on leaving.  Finally, at one point when they took her to use the restroom a very nice nurse was talking to me.  I asked him about the overnight help and he said it was on the way.  At that point my ability to be strong stopped.  I crumbled and lost my composure.

I looked at him and said “I don’t know how long I can do this for.  I know that she is safe but I don’t know how to leave.”  I started crying and fortunately he understood.  He said that they got this and we could go home.  I asked about leaving while she was in the room and I was helped out the back door to the lobby.  In the end, my mother went to the bathroom and came back to an empty room.  I know all of the reasons why we did this and it was the right decision but it will be a while before I can accept that I did this to the woman that has been my rock for so long.

In the end, my mom is on the path to get into a hospital with a geriatric psych ward that will help determine which memory care she should go into.  We hope to have her placed in a memory care unit soon.

My mom is currently in the ER at Cambridge in a locked room.  After many conversations with the psychologist and the psychiatrists it is agreed upon that my mom should not have visitors at this time.  We need to figure out where she should be and what meds she needs.  We are in constant contact with doctors, psychologists, physiatrists and more.  My mom is in the best hands that we can provide.

We will continue to keep you updated as we know new information.  Please feel free to share the live video or this blog to keep those that know Joanne informed.

Thank you for all of the prayers and support.  It means the world to us.