Cody Updates by Mom

…OR plan w or r or j.  Not quite sure anymore.

The nurse, Jessica, at Cokato came out to visit mom today.  She unfortunately has denied acceptance for mom.  It is not about mom but about the facility.  They have a contagious skin issue within the unit that the Department of Health has told them that they cannot admit any new patients for 8-10 weeks.  They were trying to get an idea of how long mom will be in the hospital before being placed.  Unless something major happens, mom will need to be place prior to when they will be able to admit her.

The next step is to talk with Megan, the social worker, tomorrow to determine what the next steps are.  I will ask her to look back at the “greater twin cities” area again for a bed before we broaden the search again.  We will just continue to broaden the search until we find a place that has good reviews, a bed and takes medical assistance.  Due to the fact that the hospital has to place mom, it is up to Megan to do the research and get with me on the outcome.  In some ways this is good that I do not have to do the research.  I know that would likely be more than I could handle.  In other ways there is a bit of a feeling of not having a say.  However, I do not think that we are at a point to be able to have a say anymore.  The goal is to get her into somewhere that is safe and caring for her next steps.

I did visit mom yesterday.  I will admit that this was by far the hardest visit to date.  I had Cody meet me at the hospital, which was really good.  Mom was sleeping when we got there.  This gave me time to talk with the nurse and get a good read on how she was doing.  The nurses moved mom into her room so we could work on waking her up to visit with her.  It really felt like I was living what we had gone through with Jim’s mother backwards.  Mom was unresponsive.  After 20 minutes we couldn’t get her to budge.  Cody and I opened all her birthday cards and read them to her.  It was all I could think to do.

Finally, after almost an hour, we were able to get her to waken.  She wouldn’t open her eyes and was mumbling but this was way more than what we were getting to this point.  This lasted for an eternity but likely only about ten minutes.  She did eventually open her eyes and start interacting with us.  She did not know who we were and was speaking very incoherent.  I kept trying to tell her that Melanie and Cody were here.  She did not even flinch at the names or show any recognition.  This was the first time that I have looked into my mom’s eyes and told her who I was and that recognition wasn’t there.  She was really not present.  I almost broke at this.

After a little longer, she got very agitated and we convinced her to take a walk.  We walked around and she chattered about whatever.  We got to the door to the deck and she stated that she had to pee and was going out that door to do it.  The door was locked and I went to find a nurse.  As we were walking mom to the bathroom was the first time that I heard that she knew me.  She asked the nurse if she had met her beautiful daughter.  We got to the bathroom and we had to pry her hand off of Cody to not scar him for life.  Thank goodness that the nurses know how to get her to do her to let go of our hands.

After this we were able to visit for a bit.  We did have to do a reintroduction but that was a quick one.  A Mennonite choir came in and sang to the patients and mom really liked that.  She actually stopped talking for a bit.  She would not release her iron grip on my hand though.  Finally, when we had to go she hugged us and kissed us and told us that she loved us.  Even though this was a very hard visit it was good to know that we brought her a little light.  Even if she forgot about it a few minutes later.

I talked with Dr. Simon today and he is concerned that mom is being sedated without any benefit to her.  She is still agitated with her cares but is very sleepy all day.  He has decided to take her off of many of the meds.  He has stopped the Gabapentin, Trazadone, BuSpar (new anxiety med) and Risperdal.  He has also decreased the Depakote to only at night and only 500mg instead of 875mg.  He did these changes on Friday and said that he saw her to be more alert today.  She did however void on the nightstand so he is going to look at more nighttime meds.  He felt that yesterday during out visit that she was still coming off of the medicine side effects.

He will see her again on Wednesday to check on how she is coping.  His goal is to have her alert without getting aggressive.  Agitated or irritated is okay but if she gets aggressive he will need to look at additional meds.

I will give everyone an update later in the week when I know more.  Please continue your prayers!  We all appreciate them so much!